SAMARCHONKA

(Also known as Uncle Jo’s Stalin’s special pick-me up. His secret weapon.)

Note: Two casks are reputed to be enough for a whole company.

Step 1: Maize, potatoes, beetroots. Any variety’ll do. They’re all as good as each other.

Step 2: And you just shove ‘em in a barrel and let ‘em rot for a few weeks. They reckon it takes about a month.

Step 3: All the scum and stuff, you can take that off and put it in the pig swill. Does ‘em a world of good.

Caution: After-effects may include a wheezing cough, a red face, and may burn a hole in your gut. Lungs might feel as they are on fire. It might just make a man willing to wrestle barehanded with a sixty-ton tank. Loss of balance, fearful wailing and shrieking will finally lead to pleading to have an ambulance fetched to have the fire put out. Should probably also note that it could cause momentary memory loss and hallucinations: i.e. piss does not equal water.